I’m stopped at a green light.
There is something maddening about being trapped here, in a mass deadlocked cars.
The light holding back the oncoming traffic shifts. Lanes heave and release cars and trucks and big rigs into the intersection.
And so begins my day.
I never thought I would ever be here, one in a trail of traffic tracing my route to work. I belong on empty back roads in states where the each person has square miles of their own. I belong on crystal clear rivers or powdery slopes.
Somehow, one small step after another led me here. Yet I feel more purpose here, in masses of cars and among millions of people, than I ever have before. Like somehow I shifted my grip on a bat and found my sweet spot.
These two parts of me seem in constant opposition, pulling me in two parts.
When I’m on those rivers and empty roads and powdery slopes, I feel alive and refreshed. And yet, at my job here I feel inspired and excited.
I wish I could have both.
And so here I am, stopped at a green light.